singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
