what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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