STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I bet he comes in French.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
