I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
