Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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