This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
