I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize