I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
