Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
