So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
