At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's always time for handjobs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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