i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
