508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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