my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
