watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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