the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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