so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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