then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
50% drunk capacity currently
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
