I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
