This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
