but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize