his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
