Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
