3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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