Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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