Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
