so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
