how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
