Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
