i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
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