so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
