I will die if light touches me.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
false alarm, still single
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
