I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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