M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
