Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
