I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
