he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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