Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
