I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
