ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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