Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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