Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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