so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
