Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
