I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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