Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
