Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
