Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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