Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
