"it" just moved
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
