seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
