We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
