How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
