birth control should be required to get into college
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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