let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
