We won't sleep together?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
