I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
