2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
