Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms

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(817): View more from Texas

i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!

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(225): View more from Louisiana

He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.

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(646): View more from New York

She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

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(315): View more from New York

turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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(802): View more from Vermont

How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour

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