Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I could fuck to npr.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
