I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
