if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
