Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
