I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
