i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
