just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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