She's JV to your varsity
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
