hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize