I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
