He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
