Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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