I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
