hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
