So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
