I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
