Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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