Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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