it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize