i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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