oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
